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[28 Mar 2005|08:35pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

So things are incredibally shitty. Im rethinking everything that has happened the last seven months. Its driving me insane, not to mention making me cry at least once a day. I just see it all falling apart. Even though it may be for the best, it still kills me. Even though i know i may be happier, It still scares me. Theres just so much to think about. And i still dont know what to do.

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[21 Mar 2005|03:41pm]
Boop Boop Boop.
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[09 Mar 2005|10:08pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

So its been a billion years since ive updates. Not that anything all that exciting has happened or anything, but all the same i still appoligize.

Im in love and its amazing. I never thought i could be this happy, this comfortable, this safe, this anything with anyone. I didnt think it was possible. Colors are brighter, music is better, food tastes better. I feel great about myself when im with him. I feel pretty, and worthwhile. Hes my hero. My wonderwall.

My best friend is still my best friend. I worry about her. She gets treated like shit, and puts up with it. She only deserves the best. All I want for her is to be happy. If she could have anything in the world I would give her freedom. Freedom to not care. But in a good way. Not apathetically.

School is shitty. Grades suck now, and i dont know why. I dont feel like changing it either. Work is okay. I got a raise, and inside sources tell me another one is coming soon. Im so close to owning my own car, its exciting.

Im sorry again for not updating. Ill get back on tack.

.x.stay gangster.x.

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[03 Jan 2005|09:04pm]
Join wtf____rad  you guys.
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[28 Dec 2004|01:33pm]

Its because my boyfriends awesomeCollapse )

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[26 Dec 2004|12:42pm]

Happy Christmas!

Ive had one of the best christmassssss ever. I finally got a digital camera, which i will be posting pleanty of pictures of everything and everyone. and I got an electric blanket that gets all nice and warm. and i got alot of gift cards and money too which always makes me happy. Brandon was suppose to come over, since we were having christmas at my house, but he had to celebrate with his dads side of his family, so he couldnt make it. that was kinda a bummer but i see him monday. and then steph called and said she was doing nothing, so i told her she could come over. but she didnt. because her mom wouldnt let her. so...i just caught up with my family. which was nice.

PicaturesCollapse )

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[20 Dec 2004|05:20pm]
[ mood | loved ]

The boyfriend pulled an awesome and got me the cuttest teddy bear and the lola ray cd.

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[14 Dec 2004|10:40pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I havent been on here in forever. But to sum up everything that has happened since the last update I will just say I have the best boyfriend, I hate my job, Im worried about my best friend, I hate liars, and Im getting blue hair.

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[22 Nov 2004|06:09pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I know I havent been updating very often. For that I apoligize. Everything in my life is so great. Im learning who I want to be without other influences. I want to be happy. And I finally am. Ive stopped all the stupid shit I was into. My life is so much better without having to worry so much. I have a wonderful boyfriend, whom I dont love, but I do care about very much. One day though, I might love him. But its too soon right now. The only bad thing going on is that Ive come to reilize that the only people I can trust are my best friend, and Brandon. Out of all the people I know. But Im coming to terms with that. I dont think I want to trust alot of people. Too many chances to get hurt. And those are the two people who would never intentionally hurt me. So Im not too worried about it. I have a perpetual smile on my face and I love it. I also got a job. Im a bagger at a grocery store. But it pays so I dont care what im doing. Besides I get to work with kevin, and kevin is a cool cat. Im also getting an industrial friday before I go to work. Im excited. Only two days of school this week. Then work friday and saturday. Fucking sucks that I work all weekend. But I'll still get to see Brandon and Steph. And thats all that matters. In other news, Im becoming a vegitarian. And eveyone I tell that thinks that Im going to be offended if they eat meat. Which I never would. Meat tastes good, Im not saying that it doesnt. Its for personal reasons, and I dont mind that other people eat meat. But whatever.

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[14 Nov 2004|08:36pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Stolen from my stephCollapse )

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[07 Nov 2004|08:15pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

My vagina is laughing at me

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[06 Nov 2004|11:50am]
[ mood | sore ]

Weekend was uneventful. Mom wouldnt let Brandon come over here since she was leaving, which meant that we couldnt go to the talent show. So instead we went to his house and watch some tv. It was really really cold outside but we went for a walk anyway. I was wearing long sleeves and his hoodie one, but my teeth were still chattering. But since hes weird, he was barely cold and he only had a tee shirt on. We went to visit some of his friends on his street, which was cool because i had'nt met that many of his friends. They were really nice. We went back to his house and fell asleep around 10:30. But my dad was picking me up at 11:30. I didnt want to get up, hes too comfy. So then I got back to my house and crashed. Went shopping saturday and got some ducky undies, and some really cool pants. Thats about it. I wish my life wasnt so boring.

Time to eat you guys.


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[01 Nov 2004|04:57pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Halloween was fun. I went to pick up my Brandon, then we went to Stephs house. Me, Brandon, Steph, Chelsey, Bret, Andy, and Zach all went trick or treating. It was alot of fun. Then Steph tried to convince her mom to let her spend the night with me. That didnt happen. So Me, Brandon, Chelsey, and Bret all had to walk to my house, in the dark, and the cold, down a busy road. It didnt help that Bret wanted to trade candy with this creepy guy, who didnt look like he had been trick or treating. But thats alright. It was funny anyway. So when we were almost to my house, we decide to go to KFC to visit Jordan and Josh, and to get popcorn chicken of course. So we all walked back to my house, and luckily my parents werent home. So we all chilled, listened to the crystal method, and Bret and Jordan played twister. Then the parents came home. Fucking redneck stepdad kicked Josh, Jordan, and Bret out. Which I felt bad for. Then after my mom got done hitting on my boyfriend while she was drunk, he went home too. Chelsey spent the night, and we fell asleep watching Requiem for a dream. Then this morning she wanted some more popcorn chicken. It was 10:30. Ah well. So we walked up to KFC while it was raining in our pj's. Were cool, just admit it. Yea I guess thats about it. Were off school today and tomorrow.

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[20 Oct 2004|10:41am]
[ mood | excited ]

Im taking me driving test today. Wish my luck =D

EDIT:: Just kidding you guys.

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[15 Oct 2004|09:29pm]
[ mood | happy ]

These pictures make me smileCollapse )

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[12 Oct 2004|02:10pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Homecoming weekend was just dandy. We were off friday. I didnt go to the parade or game, simply because I have no school spirit. Sarah and I are making a club. The "I dont do football games or school parades because I think our school sucks" club. Then saturday was the dance. Brandon came over around four, and we just...you know...hung out lol. but we got ready and he looked mighty hot. yes yes. my mom took pictures of course. which is always a pain in the ass, because i hate the way I look in pictures. We got there, and it was pretty fun. Vitoria took some pictures of me and brandon, Ill post them once she emails them to me. I kinda got him to dance, if you count putting me in a semi-headlock(not hurting me of course) and jumping up and down to the 'JUMP ON IT!' song dancing.

The past couple of days ive felt really sick. Sick to my stomach kind of sick. But ive never actually puked. I didnt go to school on monday. And still when I eat I feel like Im going to be sick. But today after school, Chelsey really wanted some popcorn chicken. So we walked down to KFC. I got a taco. Then she wanted ice cream and a pie. So we went to McDonalds. And no, Chelsey is not fat. At all. But I just dont know why Ive been feeling sick lately. Kinda has me concerned. Im sure im alright though. Im just stressed I guess.

oh, and please comment if you love me.

6 comments|post comment

[07 Oct 2004|02:05pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Jesus, its been forever since an update. But that could be because my computer EXPLODED. but now we have a new one and everythings peachy. Things have changed for me. yes thats right, guess whos 16 now? I dont feel any different, but its still cool to say. and I had the best birthday ever. After school chelsey and I rode the bus to the library, and walked to brandons house. Then we all went to the anti-flag show and had a fucking awesome time. So not only did I get to spend the entire day with my boyfriend, I got to go to an awesome show. Ive still got bruises hehe. So please excuse the no update/no commenting. Im back now and thats all that matters I suppose. I hope everyone has been just grand also.


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[15 Sep 2004|04:41pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

The fact that I can be so petty really makes me sad. Over the summer I lost 15 lbs, and now that I've gained like 2 back, I feel like a fat ass. I know its really stupid and chick like to be all 'IM GETTING FAT' but it really can be depressing.

Saturday is Megans birthday. Weve grown distant the past year, but I still love her. So I'm going to go to her party on Saturday. Hopefully Ashes can make it. Weve been talking over the summer, but since she had Cole its been really hard to hang out with her. It is kinda funny that we are dating brothers. Well, step brothers, but who cares? Did I ask you? Thats right...


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[12 Sep 2004|05:21pm]
[ mood | blank ]

Been having a very nice week. Except for a few shitty things here and there. But for the most part I smile when I think about my life. Things are so much different now. But in a good way.

p.s. its not worth itCollapse )

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[26 Aug 2004|10:10pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

So school started tuesday. Im actually having a good time. Im making new friends, and getting closer to my old ones. I thought gym was going to blow because Its first hour. but I have it with five of my really good friends. Plus me makes 6, therefore when we partner, nobody gets left out. Im really liking it actually. My biology teacher is the coolest guy ever. And I have half lunch with so many cool people. Im really happy with the way things are going right now. I was tired of always being sad. But I get to see all my friends everyday now, and its more amazing than I could ever expect. Ive met the sweetest, coolest, nicest, funniest, cutest guy I have ever met in so long. This is the first time Ive gone slow going into a relationship, so maybe it will turn out different. Im taking my gaurd down, and I can only hope that it turns out good. Kelly is moving back in October, just a few days after my birthday. And Im going to be fucking 16. Things are changing and im scared, but its still cool at the same time. I actually have a grip on my life and where it goes. I never thought I would ever be this happy ever again. With my luck, it will all fuck up within a few weeks. But for now, Im just going to be happy.

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